Hospital, or Jail? (Warning: Rant!)

Ok, I was recently in pre-admittance at Kino Hospital for 17 hours. I am not embarrassed to talk about why I was there, because it isn't something to embarrassed about, but I really am just tired of talking about WHY I went. The point of this post is that it was the worst 17 hours of my life. Here's why:

I had brought some toiletries with me in case I had to stay overnight (which I did) so I could freshen up the next day. I went in around 7 PM and hadn't brushed my teeth since that morning. Well, I wouldn't get to brush them again until 1 PM the NEXT day (shouldn't hospitals want you to like be clean and stuff??). They took all of my stuff. They wouldn't even let me keep my magazines to read, so I could pass the time. Not that I was in any kind of state to be relaxing and happily reading a magazine, but at least give me SOMETHING, people, COME ON!!

Not only did they take my stuff, I had to change into these awful paper scrubs, and was rockin some matching cloth shoes with black rubber soles that actually felt porous somehow. So every filthy step I took on that filthy hospital floor was felt through those stupid shoes.

Then, after I changed, they wanded me for anything metal. They WANDED me. THEY wanded ME!!! Then they took my valuables, including my medications, did an inventory, and had me sign them off until my discharge. And from that moment on I was not a free person. I was under their rule. I was not allowed to make even a phone call, and most certainly was not allowed visitors. Also, the whole time I had to make sure I was taken care of, b/c I was in the waiting room of the forgotten after that. In a hospital, no less. And if I didn't follow-up and bug them with every question I had, they would forget about me. And if I wanted to even use the restroom, I had to ask so that a nurse could follow me and stand outside the door until I was done.

After changing, I was brought into this barren waiting room that reeked of despair. Ok I'm being dramatic, but it stunk. Bad. And the saddest part was that I was in there so long that I didn't even notice the smell after a while. Also, it was FREEZING in there. The a/c continuously blasted the entire time I was there. Thankfully they had these warmed blankets that I continued to ask for throughout my stay at Camp Illegal Immigrant Free Health Care. By the time I left, I had like six layered on top of me.

*This room had filthy walls painted in the most depressing shade of blue one could ever imagine. And then, as a sorry excuse for an accent, they painted a different color around one of the doors leading out of the room (which was closed, and on it read "NOT AN EXIT"). Seriously, why even bother? There were no windows in this room, and you had a choice of either blindingly bright or pitch black in the room (and I was there at night mostly).

*I mentioned the walls were filthy. Yes. All over, it looked as if various bodily fluids had been splattered, dripped, and smeared on these walls. I could tell because they had either hardly been wiped or not wiped down at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure the wall behind my converted dental chair had three large spots of blood on it.

*This room was probably smaller than my bedroom. It was the forgotten room of the hospital. It was a waiting room of sorts- without the televisions, magazines, or any sort of item to pass the time whatsoever. In it were what looked like two old dental chairs, which had two inclines, slightly back, and so-far-back-you're-almost-on-the-floor. Then there was a lazboy-looking chair, except without the comfort, that didn't recline. Then, much to my horror, where two twin-sized camping sort of sleeping mats against two of the walls, placed right on that nasty floor. Oh, with a sheet on top- which probably hadn't been switched out in days. I don't know how long my sheet had been there. And I saw the people coming through there. Some where homeless and hadn't showered in days. I tried not to touch anything without using a blanket or a towel. I mean seriously, should a hospital be that dirty?!?!?! And if you have to give free health care to illegal immigrants and can't afford a cleaning crew on a regular basis, stop giving the illegals free rides from the border to your hospital!! Literally, that has happened. (yeah, just ask my brother-in-law who used to work there)

*I was the first in the room. Next came a girl who I think was and orphan of sorts, but she was an older teenager. She was very quiet. But I learned all about her (And she learned about me) when the ER Dr's. came to evaluate us. Because they did not do it in privacy. They did it right there in the room. Wow. Just, wow. Anyway, the next girl in the room came in the morning while I was (finally) sleeping. We actually struck up a conversation until I was discharged. It was nice to finally have a person to talk to, who knew what I was going through. It was interesting to hear her story. She is all alone and has only been living in Tucson for 3 or 4 weeks.

Ok, moving on to the bathroom. First, I was forced to go in there and change after Homeless Joe Doe left. And didn't flush. I think he or someone peed on the wall. It smelled like potent, stenchy urine and thank goodness my nausea was gone.... The trash, walls, and basically everything looked grimy and filthy and dripping with dried something. Even after someone cleaned the next morning, only the toilet seat looked taken care of (and the only evidence I had that it had been, uh, swiped at, was that seat was up and there was cleaning fizz in the toilet).

Since I was in the room for so long, I tested out most of the seats in the room. Lazboy chair was too hard. Mat on the floor was too flat. Converted dental chair was surprisingly just right (thank goodness b/c they never moved me). And I won't think about the last time it had been sanitized. It looked OLD. But it became my chair nonetheless. So I sat there for the first like 3 to 4 hours and just cried. I knew that if I could've called Ryan, he would have demanded to get me out of there immediately. He would've been (and IS) livid at the poor standard of care (sure, the Drs. are OK, but so what? I saw them for a total of like 20 minutes). Anyway, I had no way out. I cried because of all the hours I knew lay ahead of me before I'd get to see a doctor. Because it was Sunday night. I cried because I didn't belong there. I cried because THAT was the room they put people in who were seeking help. I sought help and didn't get treated like a human at all. I sought help and was forced to stare at a wall for 17 hours. I'm sure crazier people have tried to bash their heads into those very walls, and for good reason! Even the most calm and sane person would, eventually, go crazy in that room! I'm sure those walls and those stains have lots of stories to tell. I think that every single nurse and doctor should be forced to sleep one night in that room. You know what? I was told that I would be moved to a bed. I never was. And you know what? The dang security guard was more sympathetic to me than the nurses were. His job was to check in on us every like 10 minutes, and he felt so bad for me and my uncontrollable sobbing mess that he was like, "Can I get you anything?" And when I asked for another blanket, he didn't just hand it to me, he unfolded it and laid it over me. That was the most human interaction I received the entire time I was there. And it was from the security guard.

Ok, so to recap: no phone calls, no visitors, not even a magazine allowed, and having to ask to use to restroom...in the hospital. It's pathetic. The people who enter this program go into it because they are sad. And I don't see how being isolated in a disgusting depressing room is conducive to healing. In fact, I've never been more depressed in my life than when I was IN. THAT. ROOM. Someone there needs to change the policies. I don't understand why I couldn't have made a simple phone call, or why I couldn't have stepped out to see my husband. I obviously am not unstable and security was right there.

Maybe it was because they are understaffed. And if money is the problem, then stop using ambulances as buses for illegal immigrants trying to get away from the border. And I'm sure there are other programs you can cut in order to keep a stupid full-time cleaning crew that, uh, DOES A GOOD JOB!!!! That should be a basic priority in a hospital. Anyway, I am seriously tempted to go in there to clean and paint that room for all the poor souls that are forced to spend time in there.